So don't ask me how, but the day began with me waking up and checking my email to see that Evan had emailed me about how he misses me and wants to be friends.
Then it ended with him meeting me at Kmart on Patton... and at some point, I was hugging him... and he kissed me. Well, technically I guess we kissed each other, because I was hugging him and put my nose against his to rub it and he just kinda... leaned his chin forward and our lips made contact.
Once again like lightening shot from the heavens down my third eye, through my shoulders, past my abdomen, my groin, and straight to my toes where it grounded me and kept me swaying.
What the fuck am I doing to myself. I want this so bad... but he doesn't. And it's confusing that he would kiss me if he doesn't want to be with me. I can understand him wanting to fuck me. But kissing me? Why kiss me?
=/
I don't know. I just don't know. And I just want it to happen a million more times.
Which really says something about me. How fucked up am I?
1 comment:
You're not fucked up. You're confused. Past emotions will do that.
But you need to do something about this. Now, I'm no parent, but after what he did to push you over and kick you while you're down, I wouldn't trust Evan with this cheap ol' watch on my arm, much less with you. You've got to distance yourself from him. Otherwise, he's just going to pull the same shit he did before and leave you at the wayside, more broken than ever.
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