I'm thinking about showing her my O face. OH OH OH. XD

Where to begin, where to begin?

It really has been an epically long amount of time since I last posted. But I do have a full plate now that I'm in school, and working almost every day. So I guess I can't really expect myself to update as much as I want ANYWAY. Then again, I really haven't had much to update ON recently, as I've pretty much been keeping to myself and not doing anything exciting for a while. I don't really see the point in updating every day when the post is just going to be a long rambling of nothingness. But I guess I should just TRY to find something interesting to say to myself. So let's begin? Yes, lets.

I was kicked out of my house. Well, I wouldn't say kicked, but that was pretty much the only word to describe it. I don't really want to go into details. The details don't matter. What matters is that the one fucking person that I have at times have trouble depending on came through for me. Michael is probably the best fucking person in the entire fucking world, and his parents are amazing for allowing me to cramp up their style with my girlish shit and use their shower on a daily basis.

I can feel myself changing as I adapt to my new life. So many things are strange and new to me, and the world is practically unveiling itself right before my fucking eyes. It's amazing, and at the same time, scary as hell. Trying to work on a full-time basis, and at the same time getting 17 credit hours in school, as well has dealing with the fact that I don't have a place to call my own and I'm shacking up at a friends house because no one else can take me in... it gets to be stressful. But I'm dealing with it the best that I can.

I have Sammy, who is probably the only fucking wigger bitch that I will EVER in my life meet that I enjoy being around.
I have Alex, who is pretty much my fucking girlfriend hidden behind her boyfriend facade.
I have Wesley, who doesn't see me as much as I would like, but is fucking crazy as shit and also has the time to keep me in line.
I have Michael, who is the fucking bane of my existence, and only my favorite fucking person in the world.
And I have Doug. Who is fucking amazing. seriously.

My life is fucked up, crazy, and un-fixable. But I have a place to stay, enough money to keep my car running and food in my body, and friends and video games to keep me sane enough to live until the next day.

As for the "Evan" problem that everyone seems so interested in lately? I'm over it. Things were good. I was good to him. I don't fucking care what he thinks. I treated him like a fucking GOD, and he's never going to find that again. His loss. It's just my turn to find someone ELSE to treat that way. One day his "best friend" that he loves so much will fuck him over again. And then I wont be here for him to fall back on. You know, she fucking cheats on her boyfriend. Breaks up with him for ANOTHER guy, and then decides she doesn't want him either. And no I'm not fucking talking about her. It's not my business. I'm pissed, yeah. But it's not. And nor is it anyone elses. So I'm not giving names, I'm not giving details. If you have nothing else to do but sit around and gossip, go somewhere else.

Overall? Evan's not a MORALLY "good" person anymore. He uses girls for shit. He pretends he wants things when he doesn't. He's just.... not the sort of person I need in my life right now. He's just not. I still love him. STILL. Because I'm fucking STUPID. And I don't think that will ever change. But at the same time, he was fake. In the relationship, he faked feelings, he lied to me, and I'm done with fake people. But at the same time I'm going to admit that I'm angry. I'm hurt by him blowing me off all the time, and not fucking caring about me at all. I'm just angry. I'm saying cold things. But they are things I feel when I'm thinking. And angry. I don't know what the hell I'm saying now.

I love life right now. It sucks, but you have to take the good with the bad.
I'M CLINT EASTWOOD BITCH.

That is all.