Realizations. I have come upon many of them within the past few weeks, and I felt I should place them here. Keep them safe and in a place I can check back on any time I feel myself slipping into depression again.
1. Evan, while he used to be a good person, and I person I loved and felt I could trust, is a fool. A blind, stupid fool. Not because he doesn't want to be with me. That reason is fully clear to me now. We were not meant for each other. While the time we spent together was special to me, it was not meant to last. He isn't right for me. And now I realize what a fool he is. He is screwing around (not to be confused with "screwing" because he claims they haven't had sex or anything, yet.) with a girl he works with... after all of the shit that happened in November at his work. AND, here's the HILARIOUS kicker... she is still (apparently) dating someone else. Need I repeat it again?: FOOL. Why? Because he is probably going to lose his job over this stupid whore. And yes, I say whore. She has a boyfriend, yet she claims to love Evan, and "can't wait to spend more days with him." Whore. He is SO fucking lucky I'm over this shit, and NOT a vengeful person, because EVERYONE is telling me I should call his work and get his ass AND hers fired. I mean, I don't know that they are DATING, but I know that SOMETHING is going on, because of all the shit she posts on his Myspace saying "I love you" and "I can't wait to see you again." He might think that Greg loves him... but Greg would be risking his OWN job for this shit to continue. And not only that, but CORPORATE DEFINITELY wouldn't tolerate it. I'm not going to report him. He wants to be an idiot with a girl who, even if he DOES date, will just screw him over like she is doing to her boyfriend, let him. However, a LOT of people are pissed at him right now over this shit, and THEY are threatening to call and report him. So... I don't really know how that will go. Oh well.
2. My friends are simply amazing. And I'm not talking my "friends" like Collete and Lauren who talk about me behind my back when they are pissed and always crave attention. I'm talking, Alex. Michael. Trevor, Ethan, and Wesley. People who actually CARE. People who go out of their way to make sure that you are okay. These people mean the world to me, and it depresses the shit out of me to think of how I blew them off for over a year for a lame relationship that didn't amount to more than just fake love and broken promises. Friends are forever. Love that you find in a Hallmark card? Not so much.
3. I freaking love school. Even though I hate having to get up at 6 in the morning to drive to a place filled with people I dislike... I still love it. I love writing, and I love acting. Singing in front of HUGE groups of people and making them laugh with my jokes and smiles. I like that. And I plan to pursue that.
Alex called me crying a few moments ago and now she is here to stay the night with me. I plan on getting up hella early in the morning to make her pancakes to eat in bed (no syrup, she doesn't like syrup), because our AP exam is tomorrow, and we need a good breakfast. Not only that, but she was saying just earlier today that she missed eating pancakes, and she never gets to. So I'm going to do that for her. ....I love this girl.
But until then, Michael is here, she is locked in the bathroom on the phone with Chris, and him and I are going to watch some HOUSE before I pass out.
Remember kids, love like you have been hurt.
It makes it all the more special in the end.
:)
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