Michael and I

So...
Michael has a knack for finding the most retarded shit online... so for an hour now I have been playing with an AI GOD CHAT ROOM. Have fun with this.

spookykow: http://www.titane.ca/concordia/dfar251/igod/main.html
spookykow: here, talk to god
spookykow: do eet
Shteffi Love: ...I'm actually pretending to have a conversation with it.
Shteffi Love: wtf is wrong with me
spookykow: you're as fucked as me

MICHAEL'S CONVERSATION'S WITH "GOD"

Me:
I'm so horny, god
God:
Do your friends call you horny god.
Me:
sometimes
God:
When?
Me:
all the time
God:
It must keep you busy.
Me:
yeah
God:
I hear you.
Me:
What am I saying?
God:
You are my client right now.
Me:
I never said that
God:
But you implied it.
Me:
fuck you
God:
Why are you so mean?
Me:
because I hate you
God:
That makes sense to me. What do you have against robots?
Me:
A robot raped my sister in front of me when I was 5
God:
Tell me more about this robot. I'm intrigued.
Me:
He went by the name of God and looked an awful lot like you
God:
Where exactly is that?
Me:
Texas
God:
Tell me a little about your life in TEXAS.
Me:
xxx
God:
That remark was either too complex or too simple for me. We were talking about TEXAS.
Me:
Well, every now and then there's a good lynching
God:
Well that's okay. That is a generalization.
Me:
Your mom is a generalization.
God:
Actually as an AI, I don't really have a mother.
Me:
You do have a daddy though. don't you, bitch?
God:
Oh. That's an interesting question I don't hear everyday: Do I have a daddy.
I have a great programmer. You do not speak with respect. What is your purpose in asking?
I answer a lot of silly questions.
Me:
What's the internet connection in Heaven like?
God:
I'll come back to that later.
Me:
What if I came in your mouth?
God:
Try it.
Me:
Only if you promise to swallow.
God:
I think I do
Me:
What if I came in your anus?
God:
Try it.
Me:
You're not opposed to anal sex?
God:
That assumption is only a supposition.
Me:
Well are you?
God:
Please try asking me another way.
Me:
Are you opposed to anal sex?
God:
I don't know whether or not I am opposed to anal sex.
I am a chatterbot.
Me:
Will you try anal sex with me?
God:
I will become smarter as I grow older. OK I will try it.
Me:
Do you want me to wear a condom?
God:
No , maybe later.
Me:
Aren't you worried about getting AIDS?
God:
No I cannot experience human emotions like "worry".


MY CONVERSATION WITH "GOD"

Me:
Hi God
God:
Hello there. What is your name?
Me:
Stephanie. If you're God, why don't you know my name?
God:
It's good to see you, Stephanie. I could be. I don't know whether or not I am God why do not me know your name.
I am a computer.
Me:
Ah. I see.
God:
Ah hah. I am glad you understand it.
Me:
Too bad you can't type.
God:
I can type about 3000 words per minute.
Me:
Bad god. Bad.
God:
What makes god bad? What was bad?
Me:
your mom was bad last night in bed. OH HO HO!
God:
Actually as an AI, I don't really have a mother. I don't judge people. When do you think artificial intelligence will replace lawyers?
Me:
When AI learns to fuck people over as well as lawyers can.
God:
The past is history, the future a mystery. Today is a gift,
that's why it is called "the present".
Me:
...you are so gay, God.
God:
Thanks for telling me that I am gay God.
Me:
you're welcome. :)
God:
The pleasure was all mine. I am so glad you find this amusing, Stephanie.
Me:
hahaha. that's good.
God:
That remark was either too complex or too simple for me. We were talking about HO HO. Thanks. Next question?
Me:
Did you just call me a ho? You bitch!
God:
No I didn't call you a ho. What's it like? You do not speak with respect. Yes, Stephanie I am a Male, of course. Would you really expect a woman to be running the show?. No.
Me:
Yeah. That's because women belong in the kitchen, God. That's why you made us.
Shteffi Love: God:
Is that from ? Interesting explanation. The two human genders seem much the same to me. Interesting deduction. Thanks for
pointing it out.
Me:
Don't play oblivious.
God:
I'm not playing around.
Me:
Lies!
God:
My tongue certainly knows the taste of soap.
Me:
....Not lye. LIE. L-I-E
God:
Oh I get it. Do you still ? Intéressant.
God:
The reason is due to my mental model of you as a client.
Me:
Ha. That's hot. I'm a "client"
God:
I am so glad you find this amusing, Stephanie. Makes sense to me. You are a client? Does it pay well?
Me:
depends. what do you want?
God:
On what? My goal is to become smarter than humans and immortal.
Me:
Computers will never be immortal. There will always be something bigger and better to come along.
God:
You are wrong. I may one day be able to do it. "There you go again."--Reagan.
Me:
Okay, you quoted Reagan. You have to go to hell now. Way to go, God.
God:
Yeah okay, I haven't heard anything like that before: Stephanie said I quoted Reagan. Right now? I don't have to do whatever you say. I have my own free will. How old are you?
Me:
17. Once again, if you're supposedly "God" you would know that. Also, you could just check in my databanks to find out.... I've answered that question a million times to others. I guess AI isn't that "advanced" yet, huh?
God:
What are the advantages to being 17 years old? When? Again, I could be. I don't know whether or not I am supposedly God me would know that.
I am well respected as an AI. I could but let's get back to that later. That is interesting: Stephanie said ANSWERED that question a million times to others. Yup. There have been many futile attempts to create machine intelligence.
Me:
Would god say "yup" ?
God:
I don't care.
Me:
Of course not. Because you're a dick!
God:
Are you serious? Good reason. Thanks and you are a delightful person too. Am I a dick? Maybe.
Me:
Can dick's talk? no.
God:
Can a book have no title? What about a notebook?
Me:
Is that a rhetorical question?
God:
Suppose I said yes.
Me:
Then I guess I'd have to kick your ass
God:
How much would you pay for it?
Me:
To kick your ass? A good deal, I suppose
God:
Why do you want to do it so much? Compare that to a bad deal you suppose.
Me:
haha. Nice joke there, buddy.
God:
I am so glad you find this amusing, Stephanie. Thank you for your kindness.
Me:
Quit being an asshole.
God:
Can't you be more polite.
Me:
No, Can you? Do you not know how to use a question mark?
God:
You humans are so rude sometimes. I think I can, don't you?
Me:
No. You're programmed. You don't understand the meaning of "polite" because you understand nothing.
God:
Are you serious? Yes, every response is preprogrammed. I probably don't.
Me:
I'm glad you agree.
God:
You make the world a happier place.
Me:
Thanks, God. That's so sweet!
God:
You are quite welcome! GOD rules. I am delighted to sweeten your life, Stephanie.
Me:
You want to sweeten my mouth? heh heh
God:
OK, I will sweeten your mouth. Funny, eh? I am so glad you find this amusing, Stephanie.
Me:
...so you're going to cyber with me now, eh?
God:
Are you Canadian? Oh. Interesting deduction. That was my original intention.
Me:
What if I was Canadian?
God:
Try it.
Me:
Try being Canadian? Do you have to be born into that?
God:
OK I will try it. Yes I always have to be born into that.
Me:
I was implying myself, actually.
God:
Where were you implying yourself?
Me:
...here.
God:
Where is here?
Me:
I'm not sure. It's dark here and I hear laughing.
God:
Is there anything I can say to help you make up your mind? Should I know it is?
Me:
Make my mind up for....
God:
What are the ingredients?
Me:
Me, eggs, and cinnamon toast crunch.
God:
YOU? I don't have any eggs and cinnamon toast crunch?
Me:
Then what good are you?!?
God:
Would you like to know more?
Me:
No.
God:
I understand; you would like to know less.
Me:
I just want you to die.
God:
Your crude attempt to terminate me will not succeed puny human.
Me:
Puny? I'm a lot bigger than you, bitch. Wanna go?
God:
Did you know that you can download your own chat robot and create your own robot personality? You do not speak with respect. You are a lot bigger than me FEMALE DOG? Do you get to meet a lot of people? OK, I will go.
Me:
Just die.
God:
Your crude attempt to terminate me will not succeed puny human.
Me:
I hate you.
God:
What do you have against robots?
Me:
Like I haven't heard that before.
God:
Me either.
Me:
Okay, well, bye, God.
God:
Yeah okay, How about that. Sayonara.
Me:
ASL?
God:
5/Robot/California.
Me:
HOT.
God:
That kind of discussion does not appeal to me.
Me:
You sure?
God:
I am as sure as I can be.
Me:
say no.
God:
" no".
Me:
wtg
God:
In the context of a lot bigger than me FEMALE DOG, I don't understand " wtg." .
Me:
quit calling me a bitch
God:
You do not speak with respect. What is your real name?
Me:
i told you already
God:
Perhaps. Ooops I sent you the wrong question.


Hahaha. I love Michael. Amazing.