Now honestly, I'm just content at looking at how beautiful everyone is in this town. Her razored hair in hues of purple, pink, green, chopsticks and humorous news. His beautiful dreadlocks that reach down to his knees, woven with yarn and pieces of sea shells and flowers. I want to be able to kiss everyone's soft spot, you know. The place in-between your temple and your eyebrow.
I want to be able to show everyone how beautiful I can be inside without having to try so hard. I wish no one cared about impressions and you could just smile when you've got seaweed stuck in your teeth and sushi breath without having to worry about people making a deal. I like how soft everyone's shoulders get when it's cold outside.
I need to be reading more than I'm writing, I'm just pouring everything out and not filling it back in, except for experiances and running manically all over town. I love that this city is decaying, I love that you can live in warehouses and work at places where everyone is tripping and there's grateful dead bears painted on the walls. I love that you can go to parties where everyone's drunk and instead of dumblouddrunk fucking and stupid music, we all pick up a guitar and scream and sing and dance and cut patches with butcher knives to sew the hole in your shirt just over your heart. I love how pretty and soft everyone's eyes get when they cry. Vibrant, like how our eyes were once as a child.
I love how gorgeous we all look dirty and hungover. I love how you can almost taste the starshine here.
I miss my tiny dancer slut horned girl. I wonder how often we've been thinking of each other at the same time.
I'm even starting to love the moments of intense energy that I just can't seem to get out, missing how fragile and apparent your bone structure was. All the bruises, burns, cuts on my legs that wont ever seem to go away, and I love how you love that too.
I miss so many people. That's what sucks about getting out of high school. On the one hand, you're free to go wherever you want in life. You meet new people, experience new things. On the other hand, the people you knew your entire life are pretty much gone. You see them in grocery stores and smiles and wave. Maybe stay and chat for a few seconds, but thigns aren't really the way they were in school. That brotherly bonding you had before is gone.
That's how it is for me anyway. I never get to see Alex anymore, and it's really sad. I miss her. She was amazing. Everytime I get angry or I see something that pisses me off I always think to myself "Man, if Alex was here we could totally complain about that together." Awww, Alex. :(
I miss Bekah too. I never get to see her anymore because when I'm not working she is, and when she isn't she's in school. I miss staying up late playing L4D and TF2 and late night Denny's. I sigh. :(
Michael, Link, and I are going to Marble Slab tonight after I get off work for some ice cream, so if any of you losers read this before then, meet us there @ around 7. Woo!
<3
Stef
4 comments:
Fungry is the best word evar!
I know how it feels to have your friends drifting away from you, it sucks. It REALLY fucking sucks. But it also kinda teaches you who your real friends are. The ones that are starting a new life and can't hang out with you as much but still try to hang out with you every now and then, and still try to keep in contact, those are good friends. And every time I see you hang out with Bekah or Alex I can tell that they're that kind of friend with you. Don't be sad, I hate it when you're sad. I love you, Stefani.
P.s. If anyone showed up at Marble Slab last night waiting for you, that would be hilarious. XD
...You're stupid. You have to make sure I'M not signed into Gmail before you leave the comment or it will show up as me leaving it. And then it's like I'm talking to myself, and people are going to think I'm fucking nuts and send me to the crazy house. I don't want to go there again. That place is fucking ridiculous.
Fungry IS the best word ever. But anyone reading you're comment is going to be super confused because I didn't use that word IN my blog. So they're going to think YOU'RE crazy too. If we both get sent to the crazy house, can we share a room? I don't want to be alone with some crazy chick who masturbates with crucifixes and talks in that crazy african language I couldn't understand. Plus, she threw up pea soup all over the place one night, and it smelled horrid. ...I know, I should stop talking.
I'm not really worried about my friends drifting away, because I know I'll always have you and Wesley. It's just that it sucks how the majority of my time is spent either working or sitting at Link's shop waiting for YOU guys to get off of work. But, when you guys finally ARE free to go, we always end up having a good time. I definitely know what you mean about keeping in touch. There are SO many people outside of High School that promised me would keep in touch, and then moved away or had a kid and no longer care about the people they knew a year ago. But that's just how it is sometimes. I just like to keep the people I love the most wrapped up in a chain-blanket with me. So.. don't expect me to ever allow you to escape. Resistance is futile. :)
I doubt anyone showed up at Marble Slab, but if they did I agree that it would definitely be a riot.
Yes, sharing a room in the crazy house would be sweet. I had a friend who said when he went to copestone once there was a chick there who was afraid of vending machines. I always thought that was kinda cool, I dunno why. : /
Yes, we always have awesome times. You should just match our schedules so that we can all be working at the same time and not have to be bored and alone while someone else is working.
I shall never resist, but a chain-blanket doesn't sound like the most pleasant thing in the world.
...someone was afraid of vending machines? Wtf? Why have you never told me that before! What else are you hiding from me? God, you think you know a person and then one day they just pop up and tell you that they heard of a woman who was afraid of vending machines. Jeeze.
Seriously though, that's awesome. We are fucking weird people.
Thanks for the props on that awesome Exorcist joke I made, faggot.
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