Endlessly, She said...

Current Sound: "Science Genius Girl" - Freezepop
Current Mood: Tired.

Lack of sleep has caused my lack of interest in anything going on today. Although I did have Michael update my journal last night, I figured I would go ahead and recount the same story, because I feel like I cheated Corey out of a journal update. And it feels wrong because he did such a long entry for me to read.

Nothing interesting happened at school, so Michael did pretty well with that. Because my hair is indeed "super cute" and I do keep the pimp hand strong when it comes to Alex back-talking. Oh, and also, I hate Mrs. Richards and her stupid fucking Trigonometry. I want to karate chop her right in the face.

Had to rush to the ER during 4th because of something stupid someone I love did to himself. But they only let me see him for a few minutes, and told me to come back later. So I sat around.

My chorus concert was amazing. People laughed, people cried, and pretty much the whole time I sat there thinking "I can't believe this is the last time." We sang our pieces and then did our "senior features." Lauren sang "Goodbye to you." It made Collete and I bawl like babies. And Trevor climbed into the floor and wrapped his arms around me. Warm. Nice. :)

Then Collete went on-stage and sang "Don't forget to remember me." Which made LAUREN and I cry like babies. And then me. I sang "Only Hope" by Mandy Moore. It made my mom and my grandma cry. Then I said a few words about Mr. Johnson. It drove people wild. They wouldn't stop applauding and screeching. I love that man. After I finished he comes over and has tears in his eyes. It killed me.

Then it was time for "Love is the Answer" which is Mr. Johnson's goodbye song to us. We (Lauren, Collete, Alex, Chris, and myself) go stand directly in front of the piano. Mr. Johnson sings with us while he plays. And then it gets to the last line of the song, and he looks up and makes eye contact with me. He is crying. That killed me, and we all started bawling again. It ended, and my mom comes over to me and pulls me off the stage and says while crying "My baby girl is growing up."

It was hilarious.

Michael and my family went to Papa's pizza. We totally got this SUPER pizza. Mushrooms, Pepperonis, Sausage, and chicken. And we had ranch so we poured it all over the pizza too. It was AMAZING.

Then I went home and worked on my power point for my senior project and didn't sleep at all. Looked at the clock and realized it was 5.30. Crazy.

So then school today was boring as well. Trevor wanted to hang out after school so we went to Wesley's house and watched Clone High. But I kept falling asleep. Then Trevor and Wesley played some GTA 4 before we started playing Rock Band. Trevor had to go home so I drove him, and then I went home as well. Got online and talked to him while I watched Forrest Gump.

Found out one of Daylon's old friends wants to bang me. I'm not saying who, because I don't know who exactly reads this, and I don't want any fights starting between anyone else. But he said that he has wanted me since Daylon and I got together. He wants me to visit. It's tempting, which is sad to me, because I used to like him a lot, but I don't like him like that anymore, and it would just be platonic unfeeling meaningless sex. Which I don't know I want. But I do want sex. Because I am a sex-crazed person. And I can't stand not having it. But not specifically with this person. I just want it with someone I can't really have it with at this juncture, because he would be scarred by the newness of what has been going on. And I don't know what he wants. :(

But I don't really want to think about it. I know I'm just saying all of this because of my insecurities with things going on between me and him right now. I really hope things work out in the way they need to.

My Senior Project is tomorrow. It's going to blow. But... you should all wish me luck anyway.
Updated for you again, Corey. A long one to make up for last night. I told you, 1 each night. :)

And now, a checklist.
WHAT I WANT IN A GUY:

1. Intelligence. Not just in street smarts. Someone who is good with the English language, and grammar.

2. Humorous. Someone who can tell funny joke that make sense, and not jokes for children.

3. Confident. In the sense that, he is honest and open. He can talk to me to my face about anything. Throw me against a wall and kiss me randomly.

4. Naughty. Someone who wants me mentally as well as sexually, and admits it to me. Not just 'oh, you're hot.' But is actually open about it. "I fucking want you. I want to eat you now." That is so freaking hot. Someone who can be dirty at the right times. :)

5. Someone who doesn't get bored, jealous, angry, or embarrassed easily. It's a big turn off when I HUG a guy friend and my boyfriend freaks the hell out. It's a hug. Not naked tango on the bathroom floor.

6. Someone who will stick up for me. But still at the same time give me my independence. Someone bad mouths me, I want my boyfriend to be able to stand up for me and say something. But if I tell him to back down, he will.

7. Affectionate. Hold me 24/7. Pull me close and keep me there. Hold my hand everywhere. Touch my face. Look me in the eyes. Give me eskimo kisses and everything else you see in romance films.

8. Not childish. Don't whine when you don't get what you want. Don't bitch about it. Don't repeat things over and over. Don't be an attention whore. Don't try to distract people from focusing. Don't try to make yourself seem like something you're not.

Pretty simple.

♥
Stef

"Scientific method girl.
The theorems speak to me.
Microscope is in my hand.
Times 1, times 2, times 3."