I am so horrible at creating metaphors.

So instead of doing my homework for Mr. Fullington like I SHOULD be doing right now, I'm online filling out pointless IQ surveys and stalling. Not good. I mean, it's not my fault I suck with metaphors describing people. I can't help it that "Ethan Frome" is quite possibly the hardest novel I have ever read to create metaphors for. Trust me, the novel is an AMAZING piece of literature, but Edith Wharton uses too many metaphors in it already. All of the good ones are taken. :(

I feel like Evan is mad at me. We got into an argument last night because I've been having really bad dreams about him and one of his friends. He has been talking about her excessively recently, and it bothers me. I hate her so fucking much, he knows that, and he talks about her a gazillion times a day. Okay, no, not quite that much. But still. It's annoying. It didn't bother me at first (it seemed) but recently I've been having nightmares about them together, like... 4 days in a row. So evidently it's been bothering me a lot more than I knew it was.

So I tried to tell him about it, but I was afraid he was going to be angry with me, and I was reluctant to start a fight with him. So when I tell him that, he gets mad and says he's going to get off the phone because I wont tell him what's wrong, and that's why he called. When I ask why he's mad he says "I DON'T WANT TO TALK ABOUT IT." Which made me feel like the only reason he wasn't telling me what was wrong, was because I wouldn't talk to HIM about MY problem. So... I finally told him what had been going on with me. And when I asked him what I had done to make HIM angry he says "You didn't do anything. I am upset, but it has nothing to do with you."

Which made me feel like he had just mind-fucked me. Tried to make it seem like there was something crucial that I did to hurt him, and then didn't tell me because I wouldn't tell him what was bothering me. So when I did, nothing was really wrong. UGH. -Beats him over the head with her laptop-

So he told me he didn't intentionally mean to make it seem that way, and I thought everything was okay. But when he called me last night, it seemed like he wasn't very pleased with me. He didn't say anything to make it seem like he was mad. But the tone of his voice seemed harsh. And when I called him a few moments ago, he seemed like he didn't really want to talk. At all.

So now I feel like he's mad at me because I finally spoke up about why I have been feeling bad recently, and that makes me feel like a bitch.

Not that ANY of this makes ANY sense to ANYONE besides me... but I can't really explain what's been going on without releasing names, and I doubt Evan would want me to do that, even if it IS in my journal. So I'm going to respect that, and just point out that the reason I was talking about all of this was because I needed to get it off my chest, and NOT to get a bunch of hate mongers on Evan, or to rant... and now I'm just going to drop it.

I finally finished Fight Club (the book) yesterday, and it was FUCKING AMAZING. It was so amazing that even though the characters were all assholes, they did nothing but try to ruin society, and they didn't care about anyone but themselves, when I got home last night I cried for all of them.

For the unnamed-narrator, who did nothing wrong but want to feel free, and it cost him his life.
For "Tyler Durden", who's sole creation was to fuck and destroy civilization, one bar at a time.
For Marla Singer, who was dragged into all of the shit, and only needed a victim to save.

For "Moosey" Bob. For the boss with the blue tie. For the mechanic with the birthday cake. And most of all, for the "space monkeys" who were all just part of a stupid pawn.

Intrigued yet?